Working Out Who I Am.


I’ve written and re-written this post so many times and I just get lost for words.

I’ve been feeling lost recently. I think I’ll start with the good. I finished my first year of university, passed my of my assignments and currently waiting for my exam result. I got a new job. Moving back home was an experience in its self. It lovely to be back with my mum for the summer. I’m a massive mummy’s girl. I’m finally able to spend time with my boyfriend after being apart for what felt like forever. I feel like I should be in a good place but unfortunately this isn’t the case.

The past 6 months I feel like I’ve been in my own personal hell and I’m the only person who has put myself here. My depression and anxiety is the worst it has ever been. I’ve piled on the weight and I now have huge insercurities about myself. Continuously comparing myself to everyone. Wishing I could change everything about the way I look. I have next to no motivation. As I’ve moved back home all of the stuff from my uni room scattered around my actual bedroom. Literal crap tip. I don’t know how i managed to fit all of this stuff into that room and certainly don’t know how I’m going get it to perfect fit back into my bedroom. I hate walking in here. It use to be a peaceful and calm place that I could relax, which is failing me at the moment. I’ve had to have an operation, which one day I might be able to talk about. Although right now I’m not ready to face the reality of everything.

I want to run away and not look back at the moment. Everything is just piling up and i feel like i am suffocating. I just wanna feel me again. I do have a plan of action that I’ll talk about in my next post.

For this blog, I’m not sure what the future holds. I’m thinking of changing the name, as I want to explore a wider range of topics and I feel that this name is no longer fitting.

I’m hoping to catch up with everyone in the next couple of weeks. I do have numerous social media outlets that you can catch up with me if you wish:

Snapchat: laarjadeee

Twitter: @laarjade

Instagram: laurenj1998

These are the ones I’m basically using at the moment.

Loving being able to talk to you all again. I’m hoping I’ll be feeling mor up to writing soon.



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